Godman, India’s most rewarding profession


Indian nationals take part in being part of a multilingual and multi-religious country. Hinduism has 330 million deities. It’s not possible for any human being to offer individual prayers to each of those deities. But, in India, there are godmen and godwomen, who can connect people with those 330 million deities within the blink of eyes and offer prayers on their behalf! That’s why the profession of godmen has been flourishing for decades and already has turned into one of the easiest ways of making billions. Back in 1985, an Indian godman named Bhagwan Rajneesh had tried to almost invade the US by buying a 68,000 acres ranch in Oregon. Another Indian godman, Nithyananda has proclaimed his own separate country by buying land near Ecuador. Rajneesh was having a fleet of 90 Rolls Royce along with billions of rupees in cash and in secret bank accounts. Nithyananda possibly will even cross Rajneesh, if he finally doesn’t end up in prison. By the way, Nithyananda faces series of allegations of rapes and child molestation. Well, it’s nothing new, most of those godmen and godwomen in India are “decorates” with allegations of sexual perversion.

Back in October 2019, Indian media reported, its Income Tax department had confiscated Indian rupees 64 crore in cash and 90 kilograms of gold from the possession of a godman named Kalki Bhagwan. Moreover, unaccounted cash recovered from Kalki’s premises included Rs 20 crore in US dollars.

According to the Hindustan Times, the IT officials have also gathered evidence for unaccounted cash receipts for Rs 409 crore. The documents seized from the raids also include undisclosed HDFC bank account credits to the tune of Rs 115 crore and unreconciled bogus share capital for Rs 61 crore.

Officials have also unearthed evidence of Kalki’s undisclosed investments in tax havens like the British Virgin Islands, Dubai and Africa – including Caribbean island countries. According to News18 website, there is also evidence of nearly 4,000 acres of land and properties purchased in a third party’s name.

Want to become a godman?

If you too have shady entrepreneurial dreams, then you might actually become a godman. Ask me how. Below is the guide to becoming a godman in India:

Brand Name

Shakespeare may have convincingly said “What’s in a name” but to become a Godman, everything is. You will have to decide upon a brand name and identity that act as a magnet for future followers. Use of “Baba” and “Mata” as a prefix is a must. So. choose a name that is easy but attractive and has some reference to a God. Ram for example? But it’s done to death!

Loud Appearances

Once you have your name, you need to develop an image for it. Pre-requisite for men would be growing your hair and beard. Dye it white to give an appeal. Women, you’ll be bright and loud with your makeup and sartorial choice. If you are looking pale, you are not going to be able to motivate your followers. Remember, you’ll have the potential to become fashion icons. You are self-styled Godman so create your style.

Get An Ashram

You need a place to start your preaching. For starters, even a small hall will do. You need to start building an army of followers. Learn meditation because that’s how you start with peaceful measures. “Preach, preach and increase your reach” should be your personal mantra.

Ability to Defy Logic

You may have graduated with a science degree, but science and basic logic are your enemies once you start preaching. To get that publicity, you need to able to churn out statements that make people go “Woah! That’s something” Do not do it at all times but make your mark. Go slowly, steadily and stupidly.

Create Fear

This is probably the most important of the steps to become successful. A lot of your followers turn to you out of fear and if you have to keep them coming back, drop a little fear at the end of your advice. Make them believe that things might go wrong if they don’t follow the order. The more the fear, the more is your potential to get people towards your ashram.

Magic Tricks

Kids to elders, all are starry-eyed when they see magic tricks. Magic shows are anyway becoming less of a novelty these days. So learn some simple tricks and perform with precision. If you can do something that other can’t, you have the upper hand – you can emerge as a superior godman.

Army of Disciples

While agencies can hire PR professionals to get fame, you need a collective of armies of disciples. These are the forces who are going to defend you – come what may! You are their messenger of God, and you should own up to it. Build that trust. Make them mesmerized. This will not take much time once you defy science and logic. They must start believing – you have supernatural power. Almost godly power.

These steps can definitely lead to a flourishing career in the godman industry. So start concentrating on my advice and possibly emerge as the Grand Godman in India soon! Don’t forget I was your guide!


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